Random Journal Pages

It has been a long time since I devoted myself to this blog. My life has undergone a complete restructuring in the past several months and blogging took a backseat to the reality of LIFE.

I feel as if I have gone through a long period of hibernation within my cocoon. A time where deep thinking and self reflection on my life were the total focus. This phase was followed by a period of struggling to break the bonds that held me. The time to cast off that which made me less than WHOLE, made me feel as if I were an empty shell, involved great emotional struggle. yet I know full well that nothing worthwhile in life comes without struggle. Without casting off your old life in order to make room for the life that is waiting for you.

Finally I entered the phase of joyous rebirth of SELF. Of becoming fully ME again. Many things were cast off, relationships that were not what they should be. Thought processes that allowed others to be happy but kept me in sorrow. All things must change, ebb and flow in order to be renewed. From caterpillar to cocoon to vibrant Lunar Moth I have gone and it is my ART, my CORE SPIRIT that helped carry me through.

The pages shown here are a few that show a bit of my renewal, my empowerment and my desire to be fully me again. I hope they inspire you as they inspired me to become myself once again....

9/03/09

10/30/09

12/26/09

April 20-22 Journal Pages

Just a quick posting today to show off a few of my latest journal pages. It's cold and rainy here this week so I've been hurting. I'm thankful I can still make art even when I'm in pain. That's one of the things I like best about art, you can do it anywhere! I make a whole lot of art while laying in bed, not just working in my art journals, but also making ATC's, small painted/collaged items, hand-bound journals, postcards, mini art quilts, etc.

I have a bunch of cozy spots inside and outside my house that I regularly create in. One of these days I'm going to photograph all the different places I work just to show people that making art absolutely anywhere is indeed possible!!!!!!

April 15-19 Journal Pages

This week I've been altering a lot of photos for use in my journal pages. I had a whole stack of them completed and ready to go, but now I have no idea where they are at the moment. So I started doing another batch. I love the one I used on my April 15 page. The picture is one of my duplicates from my Provence trip and just seeing it brings back great memories!

Remember all the time I waited anxiously for my replacement Sakura Glaze pens to show up? Friday I was looking through my bins of extra markers and I discovered a ton of them in there! Three weeks without using a Glaze pen when I could've been using them all along. *sheesh* I really need to have some sort of inventory of my extra markers and pens. I'm always stocking up on them when they're on sale so I should've known the ones I sent in for replacement weren't the ONLY ones I had. Call it a Duh moment.....

April 8-10 Journal Pages

It's Easter and my boy came bounding out of bed at 6:45 all revved up and anxious to start hunting for his basket and the eggs the big bunny left. I wish he'd bounce out of bed that easily and enthusiastically on school mornings!

We had a nice anniversary day yesterday. Hubby gave me a wonderful card that actually brought tears to my eyes. The sentiment it expressed was so heartfelt and very much needed at this moment. Although we didn't go anywhere the day was great. Very relaxing and peaceful. Also, fruitful. I painted and collaged a bunch of journal pages and hubby managed to get the big brush pile burned. A good day for it too as there was a slow to heavy drizzle the whole time he was burning. The boy was exceptionally well behaved. So much so that I wondered if the Pod People had come and created a different child who just happened to look like ours!!!

Tomorrow hubby has the day off and we're going to lunch and a movie. I can't wait. It has been ages since we've seen a movie in the theater that didn't involve talking rats, cars, mice or robots!

A few journal pages from this past week:

April 8--two page spread:

April 8--left hand side:

April 8--right hand side:

April 9:
April 10:

April 3 & 4 Journal Pages

I'm finally getting around to scanning in my pages for the past week. Some weeks I do it daily and other weeks I let it slide until I have quite a few to do. Obviously, this is one of those letting it slide weeks!

I finished 'The Sixteen Pleasures' by Robert Hellenga What started out as a great book, full of unexpected wisdom turned into a rather muddled, convoluted story that dragged on too long. Pity as the first half of the book was above par.

It's dreary here, with high winds and biting cold. We even had a bit of a snow squall earlier. I'm getting tired of being cooped up in the house and long for warmer weather to be the norm!!!

More Journal Pages

A few more of my recent journal pages. The first one is from March 31:

This one is from April 1:

And April 2:

The colors on the April 2 pages are more intense than they look here. I tried 4 times to get a decent photo of the spread and this is the best of the bunch. I wish it had fit on my scanner bed! That gives me great, no-fuss images!!!!

April 4, 2009 Journal Page

I haven't been feeling very happy lately. This bothered me for a while. I kept thinking 'What is WRONG with me? Why can't I be happy????' This morning it came to me, like a slap upside the head from the Powers That Be. There is NOTHING wrong with not feeling happy every moment of every day. In fact, it would be even stranger if I, we, YOU, did all experience happiness like that. We're human beings and our emotional state is not static. Our emotions ebb and flow like the tides of the ocean. Sometimes the flow is gentle, caressing, like a kiss from a lover in our youths. Sometimes it is tumultuous, raging, like the waves during a hurricane. And that's OK.

In fact, it is more than OK. It's the way it suppose to be. Which makes me wonder: Why do so many people spend their lives trying to convince themselves and others how happy they are? How totally and absolutely wonderful their lives are with nothing getting in the way of their joyous overflowing of happiness????? I know a lot of people like this. They spend so much time talking about how great their lives are, how they have happiness beyond measure, etc. etc. but you know what? I'm not buying it. No one can be that totally happy at all times. No one's life is so great that they never have a moment of sadness or a moment where they wish things were slightly better. Unless of course they're on mood altering drugs and even then I don't think they'd be totally happy.

Right now I say to you: Admit that you are not always happy. Give yourself permission to be sad once in a while. I'm not talking depressive, taking over your life sadness. I'm talking sadness that comes to you once in a while. The cyclic kind that's caused by stress, illness, a rotten job, LIFE in general. It's OK to be unhappy. The unhappy moments in our lives show us what happiness truly is. It makes us step back and look for the blessings in our lives, no matter how small. It's a necessary emotion that we, as humans, need. If we didn't have that then we wouldn't be here. We'd have ascended to a higher plane of existence where happiness and perfect balance are the norm. In other words, we'd cease to be human and become a Higher Being. Angel, Spirit, Light-Bearer, whatever you want to call it or believe in. A fine goal to be sure, but right now, at this very moment, I prefer to be human. To jump into the Void of my sadness and see what happens. Embrace the emotion and learn from it. And by doing so, I know that happiness will return.

I'm reading 'The Sixteen Pleasures' by Robert Hellenga right now. I have to say it is totally captivating! I've only read 59 pages so far, but in those 59 pages there have been many Wow moments that have made me stop and think. I highly recommend picking up a copy, reading it slowly and taking the time to mull over what has been revealed. And don't let the description of the book fool you. It is far more than a novel dealing with art treasures that were almost lost in a flood. There's life wisdom there. Deep, raw, personal and zen-like wisdom that makes you want to roll the words around in your mouth, tasting them to their fullest.